Pippa Middleton’s Smoked Chicken Salad

"It is a bit startling to achieve global recognition (if that’s the right word) before the age of 30 on account of your sister, your brother-in-law and your bottom" - Pippa Middleton Sunshine! Quick! Stick a salad recipe up before they take it away again!  This one is almost topical too what with all the hoopla going on down under with K-Mid and HRH Baby Prince George.  I also said hello to Father Middleton ...

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Fruit & Nut Soda Bread

 "We've always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English" - Winston Churchill My foray into the world of Baking with Wholegrains continues to be, shall we say, challenging. Two batches of rhubarb and orange spelt muffins were decidedly average (tasty but resembling ice hockey pucks) and let us never speak about the wholewheat cinnamon buns I attempted last weekend. I expect it isn't really helped by the fact that I am ...

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Chicken Satay Brown Rice Bowl

"Is this chicken, what I have, or is this fish? I know it's tuna, but it says "Chicken of the Sea" - Jessica Simpson I really can't think of anything to say about these wise words from Jessica (what is there to say?) so let's get straight down to business today. Bowls of brown rice with something stuck on the top have become quite a regular feature in our house, principally ...

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Gwyneth’s Carrot & Ginger Dressing

"I'd rather smoke crack than eat cheese from a can" - Gwyneth Paltrow (2011) It occurred to me today, while queuing in the Post Office for the fourth time, that I wouldn't have the first clue where to buy crack or cheese in a can. Is this what it means to be truly middle class? Seriously, what even is cheese in a can? Is it an American thing? If we are talking about this ...

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José Pizarro’s Sautéed Squid

"Talent without discipline is like an octopus on roller skates. There's plenty of movement, but you never know if it's going to be forward, backwards, or sideways" - H. Jackson Brown Jnr Octopus can recognise and remember humans. TRUE ACTUAL FACT OF SCIENCE. They can also do puzzles, respond to their own name and have friends and nemeses. According to this article in the Daily Mail, Octopus are probably going to be ...

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Baharat Lamb & Tabbouleh

"Eating what stands on one leg is better than eating what stands on two legs, which is better than eating what stands on four legs" - Chinese Proverb I came across this little bit of traditional Chinese wisdom in Michael Pollan's brilliant book Food Rules (which I have been meaning to do a proper post on and will do soon, but in the meantime buy it and read it. It is ...

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Malted “Milk” Shake

"My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and they're like, it's better than yours" - Kelis (Milkshake, 2003) I had intended to do a proper post today about smoothies and how to make green ones that don't taste like dirt but then somebody pointed out that Elle McPherson turned 50 this week (FIFTY FFS!) and so I am going to go back to bed and weep for a while instead. But before ...

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Plenish Spicy Lemonade

"I often quote myself. It adds spice to my conversation" - George Bernard Shaw As my six regular readers will know, I recently attempted to replicate Plenish's marvellous Cashew Milk in my very own kitchen and it turned out pretty damn well, if I do say myself. You can read all about that here. On the back of this, somebody I know off of Twitter (I'd like to say a Twitter Friend ...

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Singapore Noodles & The Art of the Stir-Fry

"Maybe I should just quit and go back to making noodles" - Kung Fu Panda (2008) Do grapes grow in the Black Forest?  This has been vexing me. It's all Waitrose's fault. I noticed this week that their Black Forest frozen fruit selection is 25% grape. GRAPES!  Naturally, I was outraged at such blatant supermarket cost-cutting duplicity. But then a quick look on the internet told me that Tesco and Sainsburys were up to the very same thing. Only Asda ...

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Sunday Night Bircher Muesli

"I still eat pizzas, I still like pies, I still have spaghetti hoops for breakfast... but it's in moderation now" - Shane Warne My weekday breakfast was pretty much exactly the same for the best part of 10 years. A Starbucks Venti skimmed cappuccino and a skinny peach and raspberry muffin. Sometimes I would go wild and stop at Pret and have a croissant or pain au raisin but, by and ...

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Grapefruit Margarita

"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading" - Henny Youngman It's Thursday! And Thursday means cocktails. Is this healthy? Probably not, but it does have a shed load of Vitamin C in there with the tequila so I think it just scrapes over the line. And grapefruit contains enzymes that help the liver break down toxins as well so that must mean that, um, er, something right? Oh who ...

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Ottolenghi Red Rice & Quinoa Salad

"Eat a cow. Save a Bolivian" - Greg Pollowitz (2013) I am not really a huge fan of quinoa. It isn't that I particularly dislike eating it. It's mainly because of the stupid pronunciation of its name and the fact that I am rather childish about these things and tend to take against things that EVERYBODY else thinks are amazing. It's a supergrain! It's going to make you live longer and look better and ...

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